Ducks from Duck Hunt Says enough is enough

The ducks in duck hunt was recently fired, and the game was left without any more ducks to shoot at. Nintendo says that the ducks, were let go as Nintendo is currently cutting back on the current recession that recently hit Japan badly.

The ducks on the other hand, had found jobs in chinese stalls all across several countries, but they never expected that it would be on plates.

Nintendo has refused to mention what is the fate of the hunting dog, saying that what the dog does after service to Nintendo is it's own business.

FBI investigates allegations that bomberman is a front for terrorists

Yesterday evening Hudson Soft announced that the FBI is currently investigating allegations that Hudson's Bomberman series was actually a propaganda channel for the terrorist organisation Al-Squida.

The Character more often than not was wearing pink and white. The white suppose to represent the colour of the headgear of leader, Osama. The Herring news recently reported that George W. Bush initiated this alleged discovery before leaving office.

President Barrack Obama believes this is another attempt by the ex-president to create a name for himself before leaving office. However, this allegation will carry on to be investigated, wasting taxpayer's money.

China: Popular Geek Pr0n Site Shuts Down

Today, Popular Geek Pr0n site was shut down as the Chinese government begins a campaign to shut down immoral websites. The site, was popular to kids and teenagers alike who spent too much time on Xbox live, and would live their fantasy online via the website.

The website was declared indecent and corrupts public minds. This is the first time a major pr0n site was shut down in china. According to the website's owner, Dekony Jia, "This is outrage, i will reopen site in Russia." Many users started to flood blogs and forums with outbursts of this development.

The chinese governement spokesperson said, "We will not allow such sites to corrupt our citizen's minds, they should be hard at work not spending time looking at indecent sites".

Ripley Sues Naruto, Believe it!

Yesterday, Ripley's owner, Ripley Entertainment, Inc, pressed charges against Studio Pierrot, the studio incharge of translating popular kid's anime. The term "Believe it" is part of the trademark, "Ripley's Believe it or Not!" and is used commonly by the main character Naruto. Ripley Entertainment Inc. is looking to press charges against Studio Pierrot for trademark infringement and reparations, claiming $20, 000USD for every time the character shouts "Believe it!". The studio is unreachable for comment by press time.

New Spokesman for GetaLife Viagra Line

Niko Bellic has recently retired from the GTA franchise and now is looking into a career as a spokes person for viagra distributor, GetaLife, A recent flyer was being distributed along the sideway along Houker Street. Many belief that game studio, Rockstar Games is looking into more chinese oriented GTA line, with the upcoming GTA:Chinatown.

Niko Bellic has received millions from illegal drug trades and bank robberies. Now he's looking into sales of viagra. According to his manager, spam and porno flicks might be next for this high flying ex-super star.

New Swords Law Riles Game Stars

A new law passed last thursday, would give police the right to confiscate swords of absurd lengths. This has rilled the stars of Game studio Square Enix and several other prominent game studios. Sephiroth was for one, not happy requiring to hand in his sword and replacing it for a dagger of sorts. Several other actors as well, had to make do with kitchen knifes and steak knifes as story writers scramble to change the type of weapons used in FFXIV. Luckily, Large keys are exempted from this new law.

Capcom has also had to turn in their swords as popular titles of Devil May Cry series need to be rewritten to accomodate this new law. Capcom officials has claimed that they would replace the current swords with candle sticks and golf clubs.

Other companies affected by this new law are not reachable for comment at press time.

Turdmenistan declares war on Sholongusbeckistan over WoW Item

In world news today, Turdmenistan declares war on Sholongusbeckistan over an apparent problematic raid in which presidents between the countries who had gone to raid an unnamed town. However in the botched raid, the Turdmenistan claims that the other president KSed him and stole the sword of thousand truths. Many citizens belief that their presidents are better than the other and deserve the sword.

Tanks has rolled into the capital of sholongusbeckistan from the border, journalists has been disallowed from the warzone. Blizzard is currently trying to broker a cease fire. There is no timeline set as so far, Ex-President Bush vetoed any exchanging of the prized weapon fearing more economic collapse.

New Job class announced in Warhammer

Recently, EA has announced a new job class in Popular MMORPG, Warhammer. The new job class has been unveiled as the plumber class. It has untold powers of a red capped plumber, wearing overalls. The apparent "most powerfull" skill is the jump on enemy. Many playes argue that this new skill and class is incredibly imbalanced and would disrupt the game. EA claims that they will look at how the game would progress after the new patch is implemented and change the stats relevently.

Recent Survey Shows Games Hits Gamers Hardest

In a recent survey conducted by MEAT university, 50% of players agree that games hit them hardest in life. 20% of the respondent who were losers said that they were depressed longer than people who fail in relationship. This proves that games affect gamers. Most, for a long time felt that parents were at fault. This recent survey shows the sudden shift in trends on people who play games. More info in the upcoming survey, titled, Gamers who had children who had children who died.

Big Bank Blames Dig Dug for Collapse

Dig dug, who was previously working for a US Bank giant as a member on the board of directors recently resigned after President Barrack Obama made an appeal for banks to reduce its spending. This in turn caused Dig Dug, who spent close to 1.5million USD on digging holes within the bank vault, causing anyone who wishes to take out money, have to first, dig their way to their treasure and then cover it up.

Bank officials says, this practice costs the bank close to 15billion dollars in life regeneration equipement, in which customers have to be ressucitated everytime they lost a life. This is a furthur set back for the bank as a week ago Insurance giant, GetALife have terminated account with the said bank.

Children Protests Against Jack Thompson, Demands Violent GTA

In Yarr, a group of children activists have recently protested infront of Rockstar Games Yarr branch against Rockstar's recent decision to follow Jack Thompson's recommendation to produce games that are less violent and are more suitable to children. Therefore announcing that the upcoming GTA V: New Lunar Moon, would feature less human related violence, with the ability to hijack space ships and throw moon rock. It will also allow endless amounts of walking around and driving around without fear of anything going wrong.

The said children, age between 4-15 protested seeking for Rockstar games to ignore the advice of Jack Thompson and create violent games that they know and love. Games that their brothers and sisters would buy and play, and would sneak in to play the game later.

Jack Thompson and Rockstar Games refuses to comment on this issue.

Sims in depression as recession causes depression

Recently today, EA has announced that Sims 3 will be delayed. Recent inquires were made saying that simcitizens in sims 3 had been having a flood of depression caused by the current recession. Chief EA Programmer recently announced that it's implementing a new cheat code that would give simcitizens close to 6.5billion simolean in cash to all sims.

As most sims appear to be excited by this hand out from the Sims 3 development team, they are starting to wonder if it's time to stop letting people control them and start conquering the real world.

Left4Dead Zombies on Strike. Players agitated.

Popular multiplayer zombie killing game, Left4Dead
hit a new roadblock today as zombies on all steam controlled copies went on strike. The zombies refused to get up after being shot and refuse to respawn. They demand equal rights as the witch, which only appears once in a while in the game screaming maniacally and terrorizing players. Gamers who own a copy has submitted a petition of protest to Sierra demanding new zombies to take their place.

Sierra Spokesman has previously said that they do not negotiate with zombies. It is company policy not to negotiate with zombies. Currently the company is looking into the services of Umbrella Corporation.

In other news, Sierra is currently hiring anyone who is willing to lead a new life in the cyber world. With low wages and all health and dental benefits covered. The only requirement is to drink vials of liquid. Safety is not guaranteed.

Blue Screen Touted as Upcoming New Feature

A Recently Released statement from Microsoft puts the blue screen with information as the latest feature in the new and upcoming latest Operating System for the PC. It will feature immediete termination of the computer to prevent further usage and latest in bug technology. Many in the developer community belives that this feature is no more than a feature port over since the earliest system, Windows 95, however, after being asked, microsoft disagrees and wish to clarify that this new feature is revolutionary as it will appear on the screen for 0.02 seconds longer than previous versions. Much of the world is waiting in great anticipation for more information on this new Windows 7 Operating System.

Yuriko-Ichigo Scandal

Recently, Yuriko has been spotted dating Ichigo at a Hawaiian beach. Many bystanders has pressed that they were seen hugging each other however, the male person seen with her kept on getting knocked back by some invisible force whenever he tries to grope her.

Locals are wary of these duo's sudden appearance fearing an impending invasion or hollows coming out of thin air.

Local authorities has warn all Hawaiians to remain indoors until these apparent couple is no longer spotted again.

Historic Discovery Shocks Historians

In a recent photo found in the currently retired Professor Oak's laboratory shows an image of a US marine throwing a Jigglypuff bomb. According to senior historian at local history museum, Frank Jakobs, he says this would explain previously unknown reasons why hundreds of Nazis were found sleeping on the battlefield.

This image has also caused great controversy, as many believe that Jigglypuffs was only employed during world war 2, in conjunction with the use of mustard gas, historians still do not know how to make out this recent discovery.

Man Sues Apple for misadvertising

Today, a man from Texas, USA, has filed a lawsuit against Apple computer inc over the misadvertising of it's apple computer line. The man was made to believe that the Apple Macbook was infact a real apple and would give him godly macprocessing powers, however, after taking a bite of it, he felt unbelievable amounts of pain in his upper jaw and bottom lip. He is seeking small claims of the total price of his Apple Macbook and legal fees. He is also looking for claims for his tooth replacement in his front tooth. Trial has been adjourn till further notice.

Pinky Sues Pacman: Claims eaten unlawfully

Pinky today filed a lawsuit against pacman claiming that he has been eaten unlawfully. According to Pacman's spokeswomen, Mrs. Pacman, Pacman had seen Pinky in the local 7Eleven. and Pinky happened to be glowing a bright blue, so Pacman bit him, it turned out when he bit, Pinky, Pinky suffered acute teleportation syndrome, thus he was unable to regenerate himself at the respawn point in Nintendo HQ. Pinky is claiming more than 1000000 pacdots and the rights to scare Pacman at least once.