True Side Of Games Exposed

T astyPaints.com's have recently shown how gory games that arn't are actually are. In a sequential release of images, which can be viewed at http://www.flickr.com/photos/49017345@N00/, they depict all of those lovable characters that you love, their true side. those lovable eyes and cute chapes, are all just a ruse to eat your brains.

Beware of them. This is a public service announcement, reminding you to think about the goomba's and those pacman ghosts before eating them and bouncing on their heads.

Cooking Mama MMO Announced

Cooking mama's publisher has recently announced the new game, Cooking Mama 2, Dinner with Friends MMO. Much details of the game has yet been released except, that players will have alot of fun stirring pots with other people from around the world, cutting vegetables together, collecting soup and ingredients and other cooking quests together. Only on the DS.

Duke Nukem Forever Seeking Government Bailout

Duke Nukem Forever, or DNF, has been the longest standing game that has been in production. The game was intended to be released this year, however, funds for it's development have dried up.

The developer, 3D Realms, have requested monetory aid from president barrack obama to continue the legacy of Duke Nukem Forever. However Congress has objected the bail out, and would like Duke Nukem Forever to continue being the longest standing game in production.

The game uses, the latest ground breaking graphic such as the following:They feel that giving money to this game so that it could be finished earlier would be an injustice to the gamers and the gaming industry.

Scientists found source of Swine Flu

Scientists from the university of American studies have finally found the actual source of the virus, and all points to Disney's Piglet. Nancy Marr, spokeswomen of Pigglet have said that there is no evidence for this, and it is all just finger pointing brought about the sudden outbreak. It is still unknown until the World Health Organisation confirms the outbreak.

*In all seriousness, our hearts goes out to families that have lost loved ones in the pandemic.

PSP Car to go on Sale

The car, in the shape of a PSP, is now available for purchase. The car, said to contain the latest in PlayStation Portable technology will appear in showrooms across the world today.

The car will feature, larger windows, a sixaxis steering wheel, dual shock seats and PSP rear mirrors. it also has analog shift stick for that change of gear feel. The car uses revolutionary technology to allow you to buy upgrades for your car over the PlayStation Store.

The car also features UMD music player and tv out in the car. Annoyingly the car lacks the standard car charger option instead opting for the PSP charger.

Prices are said to start at a hefty USD$500,000

Zombies part of history

Treyarch has announced the release of a new DLC pack for Call Of Duty 5 in which there are now nazi zombies. The call of duty series has been widely known to be historically accurate. This new development has finally covered a base not seen in the series before, Nazi Zombies.

Many soldiers fighting in world war II would have known about the zombies found in eastern germany and several other parts of the world. But this side story has been lacking in many many mildly historically accurate games. According to Zombie Community Club president, 'Mr. Arggghhhaaa uhhhhh', he claims argghhhhhaaa aaaaahhhhhuhhhhhh huuuuhhaaaaaaa aaeeeeggghhhhhhha'. Many Zombie rights activists, claims this is finally a win for the rights of zombies.

Interview with RPG star

Recently ZOMGOMGWTFBBQ conducted an interview with a major Role-playing game icon, that is Final Fantasy VII's main character, Cloud Strife. Now, here is the interview where we had with the RPG legend about his life.

Z: Cloud, good to have you here.
C: Thank you for having me.

Z: I see you brought that heavy sword of yours.
C: Yea...it is quite a big burden to bring it everywhere.

Z: Well...how do you feel about walking into another person's house and have them treat like family instead of booting you out?
C: Well, people tend to be friendlier where I come from.

Z: What is the science behind inns?
C: When our friends get knocked out all they need is a good rest.

Z: Why swords? Especially with enemies with guns everywhere.
C: Swords are more reliable, they don't jam. Also, guns need to be reloaded, leaving you vulerable and they are expensive where I come from.

Z: How do you keep such a hair style?
C: I have no idea...it just stays like this every morning.

Z: Thank you Cloud once again, and good luck with the new Blu-ray movie Advent Children Complete and we wish you well
C: Thank you very much.

Study says Obesity causes nose hair growth

According to studies made by a renowned university, SMARTYPENS , 50% of obese people who play games have a higher chance of developing signs of loneliness and anti social behaviour,which in turn causes them to shun their peers and stay in small corners mumbling to themselves. They also have a tendency to complain to other people about how hard life is.

Researchers believe that this behavior can lead to mass killings and rapid nose hair growth. This recent study is seen as a breakthrough, as there is now an explanation to previously unexplainable nose hair growth.

Nosehairgrowthology expert believes that the only cure found is to ensure obese people have no nose.

Korea: Irritated women irritates electric company

Women, in the outskirts of Korea's capital today, demonstrated their right to use "Hax 1337 skillzorz", outside the local electric company. The apparent blackout, was caused by a massive prolonged coffee break at the plant.

Senior Engineer, Tuklong Tuno, said that it was a serious lapse in protocol, as this has never happened before. This is a set back to the country's plans to go global in 2030, as it currently hold one of the highest speeds in in the internets.

Many have been left with nothing to do with some even reportedly playing with dolls and screaming "I PWNED YOUR @$$". However these reports are unconfirmed.

Nazi Soldiers Pleads To Not Be Shot At

A coalition of Nazi soldiers across several popular WWII games has pleaded to all gamers to stop shooting them on sight.

The soldiers claim that they have been in games since the first game that featured FPS, Wolfenstin and has been shot at almost every time.

The soldiers are asking to give them a break and let them kill the protagonist more often than not. According to chief lieutenant, the soldiers did not ask to be sent out killing random bits of people, but was ordered to do so. This monotony of killing Nazi Soldiers has outgrown it's excitement, says Private Housenman. "It needs to stop, at least for now", he adds.

ZOMGOMGWTFBBQ - Top Ratings For Game News Source

According to recent polls, ZOMGOMGWTFBBQ: The Best Game News Source is rated as the number one game news source for the public.

From all the staff at the ZOMGOMGWTFBBQ News Network Studio, We would like to say a big thank you. We could not have achieved number one without your patronage.

More news to come, keep yourself daily updated here, at ZOMGOMGWTFBBQ, the best game news source.

Disney buys over EA, Announces Revamp of NFS Series and Dead Space

Disney has successfully acquired the highest controlling stake to effectively put EA Games under it's umbrella.

Effective last friday, Disney now owns EA Games and has announced that several games which were previously deemed too violent by the Disney board of directors, will be revamped and changed. For one, The need for speed series has been given a new name, Need For Mickey, which involves mickey wrongly accused of borrowing donald's SUV.



It will also look into changing the currently over the top horror game, dead space to Goofy's Space, which Disney deems, too horrific for normal audience.

Goofy will replace Isaac in the game and it is still unknown what will replace the monsters in the game. Disney has not given a timeline for the game's release however will say that more details will be released in autumn.

Streaker in WCG Shocks WCG

A new picture has surfaced last Thursday on an apparent streaker during the World Cyber Games. The apparent streaking took place during the prize presentation ceremony at a time when all eyes was on the prize presentation.

The WCG officials, took pains to cover up this incident as can be seen, this image only surfaced 2 years after the WCG took place.

Human Rights activists demands to know if the nudist was apprehended and "pwned" in the ass. More news to come.

Pikachu Signs deal with Blizzard

Pikachu, a former star from Nintendo's series, Pokemon, has recently left Nintendo and signed a contract with Blizzard, appearing in famed, Warcraft 3 Mod, Defence Against The Ancients.

DOTA, in it's latest patch features the said new star, Pikachu, and his special abilities, which include, Thundershock, Thunderbolt, Thunderwave, Thunder and bodyslam.

Nintendo spokesman claims that the negotiations had fallen through and didn't make it. Nintendo's CEO refused to comment on ongoing issues.

Singapore: New game baffles public

The game's title baffled reporters, fans and even the board of directors at EA during the E3 convection which sees the announcement of "No need for speed".

The story revolves around a taxi driver (controlled by you) as he tries to make a living off taxi driving, but ends up in a world of crime. The car that the player would be driving would be a taxi and (breaking the need for speed tradition) a small tax meter will appear on your HUD, as you drive past an Electronic Road Pricing gantry, which are automated toll booths, the value deducts according to road pricing. When the value reaches less than zero, police chases are immediately started.

IGN.com gave the game a 2/10 rating, citing that while the game maintains the original free roam style of play, the money system gets increasingly frustrating and the fact that your car moves to a maximum of only 20mph causes for some concern, although the good point of the game is the fresh new way of earning cash besides street racing, which is to pick up customers and drive them to another location, this makes earning cash somewhat easier considering that you get quite a good fare on peak hours.

EA could not be contacted for a comment on the game but in a recent interview, they claim it to be "taxi-driving fun".

Game deemed too epic by critics

With the release of their 21st Anniversary game, DISSIDIA: Final Fantasy, Square-Enix finds a powerful way to say a big thank you to their loyal supporters however, some critics are saying that the game is deemed "too epic" to be released. Speaking at the "Criticize and laugh at random Games" seminar, a critic released this statement:

"Square gave the fans what they want, that is against videogaming code, you do not let your fans control a cool character and take on another cool character! That is just unheard off!"

Square-Enix could not be reached for a comment but it is rumored they would not take this lightly.

Ducks from Duck Hunt Says enough is enough

The ducks in duck hunt was recently fired, and the game was left without any more ducks to shoot at. Nintendo says that the ducks, were let go as Nintendo is currently cutting back on the current recession that recently hit Japan badly.

The ducks on the other hand, had found jobs in chinese stalls all across several countries, but they never expected that it would be on plates.

Nintendo has refused to mention what is the fate of the hunting dog, saying that what the dog does after service to Nintendo is it's own business.

FBI investigates allegations that bomberman is a front for terrorists

Yesterday evening Hudson Soft announced that the FBI is currently investigating allegations that Hudson's Bomberman series was actually a propaganda channel for the terrorist organisation Al-Squida.

The Character more often than not was wearing pink and white. The white suppose to represent the colour of the headgear of leader, Osama. The Herring news recently reported that George W. Bush initiated this alleged discovery before leaving office.

President Barrack Obama believes this is another attempt by the ex-president to create a name for himself before leaving office. However, this allegation will carry on to be investigated, wasting taxpayer's money.

China: Popular Geek Pr0n Site Shuts Down

Today, Popular Geek Pr0n site was shut down as the Chinese government begins a campaign to shut down immoral websites. The site, was popular to kids and teenagers alike who spent too much time on Xbox live, and would live their fantasy online via the website.

The website was declared indecent and corrupts public minds. This is the first time a major pr0n site was shut down in china. According to the website's owner, Dekony Jia, "This is outrage, i will reopen site in Russia." Many users started to flood blogs and forums with outbursts of this development.

The chinese governement spokesperson said, "We will not allow such sites to corrupt our citizen's minds, they should be hard at work not spending time looking at indecent sites".

Ripley Sues Naruto, Believe it!

Yesterday, Ripley's owner, Ripley Entertainment, Inc, pressed charges against Studio Pierrot, the studio incharge of translating popular kid's anime. The term "Believe it" is part of the trademark, "Ripley's Believe it or Not!" and is used commonly by the main character Naruto. Ripley Entertainment Inc. is looking to press charges against Studio Pierrot for trademark infringement and reparations, claiming $20, 000USD for every time the character shouts "Believe it!". The studio is unreachable for comment by press time.

New Spokesman for GetaLife Viagra Line

Niko Bellic has recently retired from the GTA franchise and now is looking into a career as a spokes person for viagra distributor, GetaLife, A recent flyer was being distributed along the sideway along Houker Street. Many belief that game studio, Rockstar Games is looking into more chinese oriented GTA line, with the upcoming GTA:Chinatown.

Niko Bellic has received millions from illegal drug trades and bank robberies. Now he's looking into sales of viagra. According to his manager, spam and porno flicks might be next for this high flying ex-super star.

New Swords Law Riles Game Stars

A new law passed last thursday, would give police the right to confiscate swords of absurd lengths. This has rilled the stars of Game studio Square Enix and several other prominent game studios. Sephiroth was for one, not happy requiring to hand in his sword and replacing it for a dagger of sorts. Several other actors as well, had to make do with kitchen knifes and steak knifes as story writers scramble to change the type of weapons used in FFXIV. Luckily, Large keys are exempted from this new law.

Capcom has also had to turn in their swords as popular titles of Devil May Cry series need to be rewritten to accomodate this new law. Capcom officials has claimed that they would replace the current swords with candle sticks and golf clubs.

Other companies affected by this new law are not reachable for comment at press time.

Turdmenistan declares war on Sholongusbeckistan over WoW Item

In world news today, Turdmenistan declares war on Sholongusbeckistan over an apparent problematic raid in which presidents between the countries who had gone to raid an unnamed town. However in the botched raid, the Turdmenistan claims that the other president KSed him and stole the sword of thousand truths. Many citizens belief that their presidents are better than the other and deserve the sword.

Tanks has rolled into the capital of sholongusbeckistan from the border, journalists has been disallowed from the warzone. Blizzard is currently trying to broker a cease fire. There is no timeline set as so far, Ex-President Bush vetoed any exchanging of the prized weapon fearing more economic collapse.

New Job class announced in Warhammer

Recently, EA has announced a new job class in Popular MMORPG, Warhammer. The new job class has been unveiled as the plumber class. It has untold powers of a red capped plumber, wearing overalls. The apparent "most powerfull" skill is the jump on enemy. Many playes argue that this new skill and class is incredibly imbalanced and would disrupt the game. EA claims that they will look at how the game would progress after the new patch is implemented and change the stats relevently.

Recent Survey Shows Games Hits Gamers Hardest

In a recent survey conducted by MEAT university, 50% of players agree that games hit them hardest in life. 20% of the respondent who were losers said that they were depressed longer than people who fail in relationship. This proves that games affect gamers. Most, for a long time felt that parents were at fault. This recent survey shows the sudden shift in trends on people who play games. More info in the upcoming survey, titled, Gamers who had children who had children who died.

Big Bank Blames Dig Dug for Collapse

Dig dug, who was previously working for a US Bank giant as a member on the board of directors recently resigned after President Barrack Obama made an appeal for banks to reduce its spending. This in turn caused Dig Dug, who spent close to 1.5million USD on digging holes within the bank vault, causing anyone who wishes to take out money, have to first, dig their way to their treasure and then cover it up.

Bank officials says, this practice costs the bank close to 15billion dollars in life regeneration equipement, in which customers have to be ressucitated everytime they lost a life. This is a furthur set back for the bank as a week ago Insurance giant, GetALife have terminated account with the said bank.

Children Protests Against Jack Thompson, Demands Violent GTA

In Yarr, a group of children activists have recently protested infront of Rockstar Games Yarr branch against Rockstar's recent decision to follow Jack Thompson's recommendation to produce games that are less violent and are more suitable to children. Therefore announcing that the upcoming GTA V: New Lunar Moon, would feature less human related violence, with the ability to hijack space ships and throw moon rock. It will also allow endless amounts of walking around and driving around without fear of anything going wrong.

The said children, age between 4-15 protested seeking for Rockstar games to ignore the advice of Jack Thompson and create violent games that they know and love. Games that their brothers and sisters would buy and play, and would sneak in to play the game later.

Jack Thompson and Rockstar Games refuses to comment on this issue.

Sims in depression as recession causes depression

Recently today, EA has announced that Sims 3 will be delayed. Recent inquires were made saying that simcitizens in sims 3 had been having a flood of depression caused by the current recession. Chief EA Programmer recently announced that it's implementing a new cheat code that would give simcitizens close to 6.5billion simolean in cash to all sims.

As most sims appear to be excited by this hand out from the Sims 3 development team, they are starting to wonder if it's time to stop letting people control them and start conquering the real world.

Left4Dead Zombies on Strike. Players agitated.

Popular multiplayer zombie killing game, Left4Dead
hit a new roadblock today as zombies on all steam controlled copies went on strike. The zombies refused to get up after being shot and refuse to respawn. They demand equal rights as the witch, which only appears once in a while in the game screaming maniacally and terrorizing players. Gamers who own a copy has submitted a petition of protest to Sierra demanding new zombies to take their place.

Sierra Spokesman has previously said that they do not negotiate with zombies. It is company policy not to negotiate with zombies. Currently the company is looking into the services of Umbrella Corporation.

In other news, Sierra is currently hiring anyone who is willing to lead a new life in the cyber world. With low wages and all health and dental benefits covered. The only requirement is to drink vials of liquid. Safety is not guaranteed.

Blue Screen Touted as Upcoming New Feature

A Recently Released statement from Microsoft puts the blue screen with information as the latest feature in the new and upcoming latest Operating System for the PC. It will feature immediete termination of the computer to prevent further usage and latest in bug technology. Many in the developer community belives that this feature is no more than a feature port over since the earliest system, Windows 95, however, after being asked, microsoft disagrees and wish to clarify that this new feature is revolutionary as it will appear on the screen for 0.02 seconds longer than previous versions. Much of the world is waiting in great anticipation for more information on this new Windows 7 Operating System.

Yuriko-Ichigo Scandal

Recently, Yuriko has been spotted dating Ichigo at a Hawaiian beach. Many bystanders has pressed that they were seen hugging each other however, the male person seen with her kept on getting knocked back by some invisible force whenever he tries to grope her.

Locals are wary of these duo's sudden appearance fearing an impending invasion or hollows coming out of thin air.

Local authorities has warn all Hawaiians to remain indoors until these apparent couple is no longer spotted again.

Historic Discovery Shocks Historians

In a recent photo found in the currently retired Professor Oak's laboratory shows an image of a US marine throwing a Jigglypuff bomb. According to senior historian at local history museum, Frank Jakobs, he says this would explain previously unknown reasons why hundreds of Nazis were found sleeping on the battlefield.

This image has also caused great controversy, as many believe that Jigglypuffs was only employed during world war 2, in conjunction with the use of mustard gas, historians still do not know how to make out this recent discovery.

Man Sues Apple for misadvertising

Today, a man from Texas, USA, has filed a lawsuit against Apple computer inc over the misadvertising of it's apple computer line. The man was made to believe that the Apple Macbook was infact a real apple and would give him godly macprocessing powers, however, after taking a bite of it, he felt unbelievable amounts of pain in his upper jaw and bottom lip. He is seeking small claims of the total price of his Apple Macbook and legal fees. He is also looking for claims for his tooth replacement in his front tooth. Trial has been adjourn till further notice.

Pinky Sues Pacman: Claims eaten unlawfully

Pinky today filed a lawsuit against pacman claiming that he has been eaten unlawfully. According to Pacman's spokeswomen, Mrs. Pacman, Pacman had seen Pinky in the local 7Eleven. and Pinky happened to be glowing a bright blue, so Pacman bit him, it turned out when he bit, Pinky, Pinky suffered acute teleportation syndrome, thus he was unable to regenerate himself at the respawn point in Nintendo HQ. Pinky is claiming more than 1000000 pacdots and the rights to scare Pacman at least once.